Feeling Anxiety for no reason all the time
Today in this article we will talk about Feeling Anxiety for no reason all the time or the cause of anxiety and we will discuss the Solution, So you can Feel Free and get relief, Let’s start and find out more through this article.
So, Today we will talk about being anxious most of the time and we really can’t find a reason:-
- Things are going well.
- You don’t have any financial worries.
- Your partnership with your spouse or your significant other is fine.
- No problems with friends or colleagues or job.
Everything seems to be going well but you get these kinds of anxiety attacks for no reason and they stop you from enjoying your weekends, you can’t enjoy your time at home in the evenings or you can’t go out you don’t feel present like you know that you’re with people and it’s a good social environment but you don’t feel like you’re there in your mind there are thoughts whizzing around about what you have to do tomorrow and the next day in the next day and if you don’t do it all the catastrophes that might happen you lose a job, you’re you will have an accident, all the bad things that you can imagine something whizzing around in your head until you feel like you you’re going to have a panic attack.
So you might try to calm yourself by doing the Followings:-
- A few breathing exercises.
- Maybe you’ll do a bit of meditation or mindfulness.
- Maybe you’ll eat to calm yourself down.
- Maybe you’ll numb yourself with alcohol.
- Maybe you’ll get on your exercise bike or go for a run to try and let your body take that anxiety and run with all the excess adrenaline that puck gets pumped into you.
But then you soon realize as soon as you stop and you know it takes in a little while you’re back to feeling anxious again and it’s kind of annoying because you know that there really isn’t any reason that the things you’re thinking about our things you can’t control they’re not gonna happen today that’s it about the future and you can’t do them now to prevent yourself from continuing to have these same worries five days from now you can’t just eliminate the time between the present Thor and the action that you have to take three or four days from now and so you want that time to just go away so that it’s done but you know and I know that as soon as that one thing is done in your mind there’ll be 20 hundred other things coming in to take that space and make you anxious again.
What is this all about?
Well there are two or three main things that are keeping you in this cycle of anxiety for apparently no reason but there is a reason except it’s hidden from you and so you’re not aware of it and it doesn’t make sense in your current life, so let me give you an example of Shawn.
Shawn’s Story
Shawn, who was brought up in a family where his parents fought all the time and he was the mediator always felt that it was his responsibility to make sure the family stuck together that they took care of one another calmed each other down and they stopped the parents from killing each other and his parents would make it very clear that because he was the eldest it was his job to make sure that everything was okay that his mother was happy that he took care of her when Dad was away on business or anything like that.
So when he grew up and entered the professional world he carried that with him that it was always his responsibility to take care of the people who were significant in his life and so when he got married and had kids it was a big deal for him that he had to keep them safe that he had to earn tons of money to keep them in a good standard of living because his dad didn’t do that so he had to make up for it and that he always had to be tuned in to their needs and anticipate them because if he didn’t then he would be a bad person he would be letting them down he wouldn’t be worth about he wouldn’t be worth loving as a father or as a husband so he couldn’t tolerate all that so he just keep thinking about all the things he had to do all the time I make him anxious.
Anxiety and Rage
In that place when he was anxious there was one thing he was saving himself from which was worse than being anxious and he guess what it was imagined him growing up imagine show and growing up and having to always take the responsibility for keeping his family happy and safe he’d be angry, he’d be enraged that he’d.
- Lost his childhood.
- Lost the innocence of just being able to play and do his stuff without having to worry.
So the worry then became a way of avoiding the rage (legitimate rage) he was afraid that if he let those feelings of rage come out about his stolen childhood that he may act on it and be very mean and hurtful to his parents and even though he would feel relieved in one sense he would feel like a bad person in another way because he didn’t want to be mean and nasty and blaming everybody just like his mother and father did with him.
So the anxiety helped him from connecting with this violent rage he felt inside about his lost childhood and wanting to take it out and blame his parents because they did steal it from him.
So the anxiety was there to stop it but it was still a negative experience there would be times when the mindfulness the exercise the food the numbing and all that didn’t work and his wife would kind of guess he could she could see he was getting anxious the children could see that he was kind of not there he was in another world and his kids would give him a hug and he’d feel really good and that would help him for a while make him feel good, back comes the anxiety again.
His Wife
And then his wife would attempt to say
- What’s wrong?
- Can I help you?
- Tell me What’s bothering you?
Then he’d start to tell her and then all of a sudden he would become terrified, absolutely terrified that she would come in and tell him what to do and over his mind which was a feature of their relationship she was so anxious herself about the fact that Shawn was anxious that she kept trying to give him a solution well just do this just take care of that or you don’t need to do that I’ll do that for you anything to stop him being anxious so she could feel him present with her.
Solution
So in her efforts to try and help him by removing the obstacles that appeared to get in his way and that fueled his anxiety she became an object of Terra because she was gonna come and take over his mind and tell him what to do just like his mother and father did they had taken over his child mind and made it into a mind of responsibility and anxiety and the only way he could save himself from this fear of being taken over was to stay in the anxious place if he didn’t let her in if he kept that barrier between them then he would save himself from being engulfed by her anxiety and her mind and her ideas and her way of doing things which basically was to shut him up and hopefully then he’ll be present with her.
Picture
So this terrible cycle of anxiety I’m going to draw you a picture of it.
1. The anxiety is about things in the future that you have no control over and you know that they’re not really everything is fine you’re not losing a job the marriage is okay your relationship with your kids is okay you have a house you have everything you want friends you have enough money to sustain you in your lifestyle everything seems to be okay including your relationships with colleagues and everything else but yet you find yourself constantly thinking about.
- The next day
- Next day
- Next day
And making mountains out of tiny little Moe Hills that may never happen but they’re happening right now inside you but it’s better than you having an empty space in there where the anxiety is right.
If there were an empty space too bad things could Happen:-
1. All the rage from your childhood about having lost the innocence and play of your childhood about being put in the parental role of having to fix everything take care of your mom and dad stop them from arguing and killing each other all that rage might come in and make you into a monster that you don’t want to be and you might lose everything if that monster came up so the anxiety fills the space and stops you from being a violent monster.
2. The second thing that might come in if you take the anxiety away and leave an empty space is apparently caring people like your wife they might come in in the guise of being helpful but they completely take away your mind and put their mind in there instead and they put their anxiety in there and make you feel like you don’t have a mind.
- You can’t think
- You can’t make choices
- You can’t choose
- What do you want to do?
- Where do you want to go?
- How do you want to live your life?
And that is very threatening because that’s what your parents did they kept telling you.
- How to think?
- When to think?
- What to think?
- Where to think?
And so you have to save yourself from that and so putting the anxiety and that saves you from the rage of full monster that you fear is inside you and from your wife or part whoever it is coming and taking over your mind and making you into a nothing.
Good Things
The little good things you have that you know momentary hugs from your kids or eating or drinking or smoking or exercising or mindfulness or whatever don’t last because they’re not supposed to last you need that anxiety otherwise those two other Horrors could come and ruin your life completely.
What do you do about this?
Well obviously, you have to work on the rage you have to process it you have to make it okay that you feel this way and not feel guilty or ashamed that you’re not everybody’s problem solver and everybody’s Gattaca that you’re not perfect and that’s going to take a long time in a safe and trusting therapeutic environment.
While you’re doing that and feeling better about yourself feeling more confident the space when you don’t have the anxiety gets filled up with a nurturing connection with the therapist you feel the nurturing and care not emptiness and then you make the possibility of your family being nurturing and caring open they’re no longer threats that are going to come in and take over and ruin your sense of self by putting themselves in that but first you need to do it with your therapist because that’s safe and it’s under your control and only when you want how you want and when you want.
Then after all that work which takes a while you start doing couples work where the therapist can help, your partner and you create safe boundaries be curious about each other enable each other’s choices and ways of thinking and decision-making styles to be okay not threatening and that’s a different level of work that you need to do but first, you have to do your old work on your anger and your fear about being responsible having your lost childhood taken from you and the anger about that and the guilt and shame that if you dare to just think of you for a little while you’re being irresponsible and the whole world is gonna collapse.
So she gets to recap you may think you’re anxious for no reason but you’re not because of the two other things that could time and take the space of the anxiety if you didn’t use it as a buffer you’re going to be a monster or someone’s going to take you over and neither of those is tolerable so think on it see if that applies to you leave me some comments love to hear your positions and Thanks for reading.